On my first business trip away from him on July of 2008 (Troy was 4 months old then), i decided to start a tradition of writing letters to Troy (and my future children) whenever i feel like being with them but can't do so physically. My first letter was written in the plane on my way to the US. I have since then started writing letters quite regularly and would like to share these letters to my children when they grow up. There are long letters and there are shorter ones, depending on how much time i had.
I'd like to share the quick letter i wrote to Troy early this morning. May this inspire you to do the same with your children. They are small now and may not remember all the things you do for them. But writing them now would allow them to realize when they grow up just how loved they always were.
Here's to all little children -- you are so loved!
- Our regular Friday night movie/dinner dates are not so regular anymore. We still make it a point to spend time by ourselves at least once a week. But instead of our usual Rockwell or Greenbelt dates, we opt to just order pizza and watch a nice DVD at home while Troy is sleeping in the other room.
- I cannot be out longer than normal after work since i have to rush home and bring the expressed breastmilk for troy. This means 99% less impromptu dates and gimmicks with friends. Most things have to be scheduled and planned well in advance - how long will we be out? will there be a ref in the venue? if not, who can bring the milk home first?
- Decaf please! Since i am still breastfeeding Troy exclusively, i need to continue watching what i eat. In a way it's like staying pregnant a year after giving birth. You still have to follow some of the do's and don'ts of a pregnant woman.
- No more 8 hours of sleep. For some reason (it may be due to how breastmilk is easily digested or just the way i have trained Troy), he still wakes up in the middle of the night. Not so much to feed anymore but just to transfer to our bed (from his crib). Once he falls back asleep, then we have to transfer him back to his crib. On more exciting nights, he refuses to go to sleep and would want to keep on playing with anything he gets his hands on. Even with the lights out, he practically knows where my cellphone is placed (he looooves playing with my cellphone) and knows how to get his parents up from our 'pretend-sleep' just by rolling over to our feet. Dens and i would practically jump up at the same time fearing that Troy would fall over the bed.
- I love fashion! ...but dressing up takes a back seat to what outfit is more convenient for breastfeeding.
- Fashion flaw #2 - no more potentially dangerous accessories. My mom already had 2 pearl-necklace-casualties c/o her grandson...not so mention the frigtening idea of having Troy swallow one of the pearls when the string breaks! You wouldn't believe how fast kids are when putting non edible items into their mouths. I have torn magazines and receipts with holes in them to prove that.
- Vacation leaves can actually be more physically exhausting then actually going to the office. When i'm at home, it's very hard to resist the tempation of foregoing things that you actually need to do and just spend time with your son. Leaves where you plan to accomplish things on your to-do list become less and less productive. I always end up taking the opportunity to feed Troy his breakfast/lunch, giving him a bath and simply enjoying the day with him. Things that i rarely get to do when i am at work. This is specifically why i am 8 months behind in making Troy's month-by-month scrapbook.
- Say goodbye to 'travel light'. Pre-motherhood, i would always proudly check on the bags of my other companions and compare them to my very small pack. I have mastered the art of packing lightly...until Troy came along. With a baby, you always need to think of the 'extras'. Extra clothes, extra diapers, extra everything! Before your know it, your bag for the 3-day trip to Tagaytay is now looking more like you're migrating to Canada! We always want to be sure even though there are groceries in the place we will be visiting. The mindset of a parent packing for a child is that we will be vacationing inside a cave where there is nothing else in it but us. Survivor, here we come!
Having been blessed with three daughters, my mom is also just learning the art of caring for a baby of the opposite sex. One of the most challenging things that my mom and i have learned with boys is the unexpected pee-ing (or more like 'spray-ing') during diaper changes. I guess this does not happen with baby girls. Am sure other moms with baby boys would be able to relate to this. I have since received good tips from my cousins on how to avoid similar 'accidents'.
This morning, as i was about to leave for the office, i stopped and looked at my husband and son who were still very much asleep. I then realized that contrary to our set up before, i have now become the only girl in this family. My mind immediately started thinking of instances wherein i will need to be alone when the three of us would go out - like going to the ladies' dressing room after a swim or simply whenever there is a separate area for men and women. This is new to me as i have always had my mom or at least one of my sisters go with me whenever we'd go out as a family. But then i guess it's nice to be independent once in a while. So until we are blessed with a baby girl, i will enjoy my new role as the only rose among the thorns.
I had the usual anxieties of a pregnant woman plus some more...will the baby be healthy and normal? will i hear him cry once he comes out of my womb? will i be able to recover easily after the operation? will i be able to recover at all?!?...Dens and i checked in the hospital the day before the operation. We asked my doctor for a day pass so that i can go home and have dinner with my family before the big day. We went back to the hospital around 8pm and counted each hour until my scheduled c-section the next day at 7am. As expected, i was not able to sleep the entire night.
The nurses came in at 5am to prep me for the operation. My parents arrived shortly after since my mom was going in the operation room with me (that was one of my non-negotiable requests). I was wheeled into the operating room at 6:15am. They started the operation at exactly 7am. I was wide awake the whole time and mommy was busy taking pictures. Troy came out at exactly 7:21am weighing a healthy 6.7lbs. I could hear him crying while they were cleaning him - it was the most beautiful sound i have ever heard.
I was able to carry Troy for the first time the day after the operation. The nurses at the nursery were just as excited when they saw a baby with our last name. One of the nurses told me that the moment they saw Troy, they knew he was the brother of Tyler as they looked so much alike. They were just as happy for us.
Troy turns 2 weeks today. It has been 2 weeks of sleepless nights of feeding and diaper changes...and we're loving every second of it! Troy is God's promise to us that came true on March 7, 2008.
Unlike my first pregnancy, i feel so unprepared this time. I guess i have been so complacent that i already have all the baby things i need so i did not do a baby things' checklist and inventory anymore.
With my first pregnancy, i had a yaya at 5 months...the baby things were completed during my 7th month...and all the clothes were washed on my 8th month. I am now entering my 9th month and have zero accomplishment! I have somehow prepared my timetable already though...yaya is arriving this Sunday...we will start washing all the baby's clothes next week...set up crib the weekend after and pack my hospital bag afterwards.
It has been an exciting 9 months but i'm sure what lies ahead will be more rewarding. My next post would probably be after i give birth. Please help us pray for a very healthy and normal baby boy.
"Have faith that whatever you ask for in prayer is already granted you, and you will find that it will be." - March 11:24
I love Christmases! This may somehow be attributed to the fact that I am a December baby plus all the wonderful Christmas memories i've had growing up. I've always looked forward to the holiday season year after year.
Last 2006 was a bit different for me. 2 weeks before Christmas (4 days before my birthday), i lost my first baby. I remember thinking that Christmas will never be the same for me anymore. It will always be filled with painful memories of losing our baby Tyler and how much i had looked forward to spending his first Christmas with him that year.
God surely knows my heart and how much i want to enjoy Christmases again with my family. This Christmas (2007) has been one of the happiest of all time. Being 7 months pregnant with our 2nd baby has been wonderful. The excitement of seeing him in a few months simply overwhelms me and fills me with so much joy. I can now happily go inside baby stores and not feel so sad anymore. Such a turnaround from how i thought my next Christmas would be.
God is truly good and He has once again proven how much he loves us. He indeed makes everything beautiful in His perfect time. :)
Have a blessed 2008!
I am claiming God's promise through Achi Rubi that this baby will be full of joy. And we are truly excited to meet God's wonderful blessing for us next year.
Letter to Heaven - written on Tyler's 5th Birthday
The next few blogs will be selected posts from my multiply site. I just realized that i have limited the access of my multiply site to close friends for security purposes.
This is where i am writing from now on. I used to blog through my old multiply site (http://densfan.multiply.com) but have been so busy the past years and haven't been able to write anymore.
Here's an excerpt taken from my previous site that will give you an idea of what my blog is all about:
More than 10 years ago, God gave me someone to start my own little family with. He blessed me with Dens. I believe that marrying Dens has been and will always be the best decision I have ever made in my lifetime. This site is dedicated to the new sub-family dens and i are building.
May you be blessed as you journey with us through this exciting chapter of our lives.