The Decisions Parents Make

This post is inspired by one of my sister's best friends, Hannah, who is an only child. Whenever she is asked to do a task that can be a bit risky (anything from skydiving to eating a chicken meal by the streets), she would usually decline by saying "Only child ako".  While we always found her comment funny, there is indeed some truth in it.

The other day while running on the treadmill, i was lost in my thoughts and i remembered her statement. Then it made me realize how, as a mom, i have grown to have the same careful nature. Not because 'Only child ako' but because i am the only mom my kids will ever have. 

Before the kids came into the picture, i was more carefree. I grew up knowing my liver was not in tiptop shape but that never fazed me until I had Troy.  I started doing more research on how to take care of my health and overall live a longer and healthier life for my children.

My children will now always be a consideration on each decision that I make.  When you know that someone you love is very much dependent on you, you tend to make decisions to care for yourself on behalf of the other person. Any decision that may possibly hurt the other person will have to be thought twice or thrice over.

Motherhood indeed changes us.  Now it is up to us whether we will change for good or otherwise. I challenge all parents to start taking care of yourselves more. You are the only mom or dad your child will ever have. Make your life count. You are irreplaceable to them.



The Real Joy of Our Children

So last weekend we found ourselves in Oslob, Cebu on another family trip. We did a host of amazing things with the kids from swimming with the whalesharks to taking a dip under the breathtaking Tumalog falls.  But amidst all those fun things, one event stood out for Troy. Shopping and spending time with me.

On our last day in Cebu, we visited a mall which was right across our hotel. Everyone had their own mission so we decided to split up. Troy decided to go with me since both of us did not have any agenda.  We just walked aimlessly around the mall.  To me, it was not an extraordinary experience as I just shopped like i normally would.  Once in a while, I would ask for Troy's opinion on some products that i liked and he would ask me the same on things that he saw. We walked around chatting and laughing like good friends. As we were heading back to the hotel, Troy was smiling from ear to ear and he suddenly said "You know mom, you're not my normal mommy today". I did not know what he meant so i prodded. He further explained that i was so happy and so much fun to be with that day.  Eeps! That compliment stung a little.  We talked about it some more and i understood his heart.

I have been thinking about what Troy said ever since he said it last Sunday.  I reflected on the many times that we enjoyed things together.  How did that short shopping trip have such an impact on him?  Then I realized that I was a friend to him that day. I was not the parent who had to say "Look only but we're not buying, okay?" when he wanted to look at toys. I realized that I did not treat him like a child when i spoke to him about the things that I bought.  After one of my purchases, i even told him "I'm so happy i am finally able to buy this! I have wanted this for so long!" I did not realize it then but now that i think about it, i realize that it's something i would probably say to Dens but not really to my children.

While our kids need us to guide them since we are their parents, they also need us to be their friend. Time spent with them does not automatically make it 'Quality Time' even if we're doing things that they enjoy. Laugh with them and be silly together. Last night i played Wii with Troy and we had the time of our lives laughing at each other's wrong moves.  I did not try to make it into a teachable moment but simply had fun with him as i normally would with my friends.  I hope that i can consistently be the 'not normal mommy' for Troy.  Someone he would love to always spend time with even when we're not doing anything exciting.  And one day when he is all grown up and still loves spending time with me, that would be such an awesome reward.



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