After 12 Months

Troy just turned one last Saturday. I realized that through the past 12 months, there have been a lot of changes in our lives. Some subtle, some major - but changes nonetheless. 

• Our regular Friday night movie/dinner dates are not so regular anymore. We still make it a point to spend time by ourselves at least once a week. But instead of our usual Rockwell or Greenbelt dates, we opt to just order pizza and watch a nice DVD at home while Troy is sleeping in the other room. 
• I cannot be out longer than normal after work since i have to rush home and bring the expressed breastmilk for troy. This means 99% less impromptu dates and gimmicks with friends. Most things have to be scheduled and planned well in advance - how long will we be out? will there be a ref in the venue? if not, who can bring the milk home first? 
• Decaf please! Since i am still breastfeeding Troy exclusively, i need to continue watching what i eat. In a way it's like staying pregnant a year after giving birth. You still have to follow some of the do's and don'ts of a pregnant woman. 
• No more 8 hours of sleep. For some reason (it may be due to how breastmilk is easily digested or just the way i have trained Troy), he still wakes up in the middle of the night. Not so much to feed anymore but just to transfer to our bed (from his crib). Once he falls back asleep, then we have to transfer him back to his crib. On more exciting nights, he refuses to go to sleep and would want to keep on playing with anything he gets his hands on. Even with the lights out, he practically knows where my cellphone is placed (he looooves playing with my cellphone) and knows how to get his parents up from our 'pretend-sleep' just by rolling over to our feet. Dens and i would practically jump up at the same time fearing that Troy would fall over the bed. 
• I love fashion! ...but dressing up takes a back seat to what outfit is more convenient for breastfeeding. 
• Fashion flaw #2 - no more potentially dangerous accessories. My mom already had 2 pearl-necklace-casualties c/o her grandson...not so mention the frigtening idea of having Troy swallow one of the pearls when the string breaks! You wouldn't believe how fast kids are when putting non edible items into their mouths. I have torn magazines and receipts with holes in them to prove that. 
• Vacation leaves can actually be more physically exhausting then actually going to the office. When i'm at home, it's very hard to resist the tempation of foregoing things that you actually need to do and just spend time with your son. Leaves where you plan to accomplish things on your to-do list become less and less productive. I always end up taking the opportunity to feed Troy his breakfast/lunch, giving him a bath and simply enjoying the day with him. Things that i rarely get to do when i am at work. This is specifically why i am 8 months behind in making Troy's month-by-month scrapbook. 
• Say goodbye to 'travel light'. Pre-motherhood, i would always proudly check on the bags of my other companions and compare them to my very small pack. I have mastered the art of packing lightly...until Troy came along. With a baby, you always need to think of the 'extras'. Extra clothes, extra diapers, extra everything! Before your know it, your bag for the 3-day trip to Tagaytay is now looking more like you're migrating to Canada! We always want to be sure even though there are groceries in the place we will be visiting. The mindset of a parent packing for a child is that we will be vacationing inside a cave where there is nothing else in it but us. Survivor, here we come!

A lot of women would stop and say 'i miss doing this and that' - things that you easily get to do when you were not yet a mom. And i will not be honest if i say i don't miss sleeping for 8 hours straight or having a really productive day at home.  But all of these things can wait while i enjoy seeing Troy grow up and become the person that God intends for him to be. I think that's the joy of motherhood. You may be missing out on a lot of things...but it's okay.


[Blogged on March 11, 2009]