A Letter to Heaven

I woke up today wondering what it will be like if you were here.

You would have been 5 years old by now. I would probably be busy preparing an Angry Birds party or maybe Transformers. Whatever 5 year olds like these days. I would bring your little brother and sister to fetch you from school and you would be so happy to see them.



Sometimes I'd see your little brother playing with older kids and my heart would break a little. I can only imagine how much fun the two of you would have playing cars and basketball. The house would probably be very chaotic with two little boys chasing each other around. That would have been nice.

I have a mllion and one what-ifs in my mind. But I know whatever it is will not compare to the joy that you're experiencing in heaven right now. No more feeding tubes, no more dextrose in your little body, no more c-pap to help you breathe, no more pain.



It would have been nice to spend your birthday with you today. But I know you're celebrating it with Jesus in heaven and that is incomparable to whatever I can prepare for you here.    

I miss you, anak. And I miss you today more than I thought I would. I miss reading books to you while you were still in my tummy, I miss how you held my hand so tightly on that early November morning in the hospital, I miss being able to carry you for the first time and feeling that I was officially a mom.

I hope you remember how much all of us loved and cared for you when you were still with us. During your memorial service, almost 300 people came. A lot of people shared stories about how they prayed for you and how they were encouraged and strengthened in the process. Others wrote you a poem and others sang a song for you.  You even had your own AVP shown during the event.  And I remember your lolo Jorge telling me how amazing it is that a baby such as you have touched the lives of so many people. Other grown-ups would not even have something close to that. You so are loved!

Your life, no matter how short, was very meaningful. Until this day, papa and mommy would still get invited to speak in churches and schools about how God used you to minister to us. You are a blessing to so many people.

We love you very much, anak.  Enjoy your birthday party in heaven. Tell me about it next time, okay? 



Happy 5th birthday, our baby Tyler. Until we meet again...

I love you,

Mommy

Read about Tyler's life here

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