Adversity Quotient: How Resilient is Your Child?

When i was young, the only quotient that i was familiar with was Intelligence Quotient (IQ). Then i got to college and found out that there is also such a thing as Emotional Quotient (EQ). A few months ago, i learned from finance expert, Ms. Rose Fausto, that we also need to be conscious of having a strong Financial Quotient (FQ). So many quotients to consider!  Well, there's a new quotient that i learned three weeks ago during our #BetterMe session with Coach Pia that i'd like to share with you. Adversity Quotient (AQ).

The net describes AQ as the most scientifically robust and widely used method in the world for measuring and strengthening human resilience.  During the recent tyhpoon that hit the Visayas region in the Philippines, one of the most frequently-used term to describe the Filipinos was "resilient". I look at the survivors and can truly say that most of them exhibit a very strong AQ. They are undefeated.  
photo from rappler.com
How do we ensure that our children will have a strong AQ? Each time i look at my husband, i can feel that he is very emotionally and mentally strong. He can easily rank #1 in my list of friends and family with high AQ.

We touched on this topic during our last session with Coach Pia and i found it to be such an eye opener for me. Building our children's AQ means that we should not be overprotective of our children.  People who were NOT sheltered too much growing up will tend to have higher AQ.

One of the things that i've learned is not to over react when my child gets hurt. Sayang things like 'kawawa ka naman' lowers the child's resilience. He will grow up thinking everytime he gets hurt, he'll be 'kawawa'.  They will then start to develop self-pity and low self-esteem. The better response would be to check on the child and make sure he's okay. After the cut is attended to, then tell the child it will be fine and don't make a big deal out of it.

I am learning each day. There are days when i'm so tempted to say 'aww...' and over react when my child shows me his or her ouchy.  But then the principles of having High Adversity Quotient comes to mind and i stop myself from fawning over the child too much. Not to say i don't show concern but there is a better way of doing so without letting the child feel self-pity.

How about you? How high is your AQ? Having a strong self worth is also key to building your child's self esteem. Remember that our children looks at us and how resilient we are in times of difficulties. I am determined to be the best example for my children. I will show them that when times are hard, we should just shake it off and step up instead of wallowing in self-pity. As they say, when life throws you lemons, make lemonade.

Our talk that day was sponsored by Hewlet-Packard.  They talked about their new HP Deskjet Ink Advantage Printer series which i love! My favorite feature was how you can download an App on your smartphones or tablets and print remotely! I love all the arts and crafts project available in the App and even the reviewers that are excellent for our pre-schoolers who are learning to read and write. The good news is that HP Deskjet Ink Advantage Printers used to cost P4,990 but they recently brought down their prices to P3,545 only! It's an excellent gift for the whole family. You still have 9 days before Christmas to rush to the stores and buy them for your family!

roselsmomdiary  – (December 17, 2013 at 3:08 AM)  

I always says, "Wawa naman bebe ko to my youngest every time she's hurt. Thank you for sharing this...better to change my approach!" ;)

Tiffany B  – (December 17, 2013 at 3:39 PM)  

@roselmomdiary, you're welcome. I guess moms, by nature, tend to over react when our kids get hurt, noh? We often equate saying 'kawawa' to showing love when the kids get hurt. I am also learning with you :)

Anonymous –   – (December 19, 2013 at 5:11 PM)  

Thank you so much for this post. I am so guilty of over-protecting my daughter. After my experience with my first-born, I have become a lot more paranoid. I know that at times I curtail my daughter's freedom to move around and enjoy her world but I just can't help it. I am praying for the Lord to strengthen my faith that He will be there to protect my daughter. It is just too difficult for me not to overly protect her. Please post more articles like this. Thanks and God bless!..... Mommy Marie

Tiffany B  – (December 20, 2013 at 10:07 AM)  

Thanks for sharing, Mommy Marie. What you said is right - we really have to trust the Lord. It's not easy and i am also guilty of worrying too much, too often as well. Here's to a better 2014 - more faith, less worries :)

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