What Does Familiarity Breed?

I love my husband and i know he has a lot of strong attributes. I know this because i wouldn't have married him in the first place if he didn't.  But after knowing him for more than 13 years, sometimes i forget what these good qualities are.

A few months ago, one of our very good friends told us that they think Dens is one of the smartest people they know. When i heard this, I laughed out loud. Then i realized that they were serious. So it got me thinking.

When i first met Dens thirteen years ago, i could not stop gushing about all his wonderful traits. He was indeed very smart (great problem-solving skills especially in Math), he was our resident MacGyver who knew how to fix practically anything, he was always very generous - not just with money but also with his time, and more importantly, he had such a good heart. He always saw the good in people and avoids thinking ill of anyone. So what happened?  Did dens change through the years?  As i thought about it more, i realized that he didn't change at all. He is still very smart and handy, he still thinks of others before himself, and he is still very generous with his time and resources. So what has changed? I realized then that i was the one who changed. I have been so used to being around Dens that i became too comfortable with all of his good traits. Before i knew it, i was looking past them and was simply nit-picking everything he does that annoys me. I failed to appreciate him as much as i should and only called his attention every time he does something wrong.

Where is the love in that? My thoughts opened my eyes to once again see the beautiful gift that God has given me. A husband who loves me unconditionally and a bestfriend i can always count on. Dens has been nothing less than wonderful through the years and i have failed to see that. I saw the 1 day that he was late and failed to see the 6 other ones when he was on time. I criticized his growing belly and failed to appreciate the many midnight snacks he prepared for me and the kids. Familiarity blinds us sometimes, doesn't it? We are always so gracious to our acquaintances but we sometimes fail to extend the same grace to the people we love the most.

Familiarity should breed contentment and not contempt.  Dens will continue to have his faults as i would mine. Nobody is perfect. But i will promise to try my very best to always to see the goodness in him.


ps. Love, please do not use this post as an excuse to be late.  But if you do become late at times, i love you anyway :)

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12 Years of Firsts

It was the year of the new millennium.  If you know what the centennial bug is, then it means you were old enough to experience the excitement and technological anxieties approaching year 2000.  Will our microwave oven and office computers still work after 1999?  Everyone thought the entry of new millennium was going to be a game changer. Well, it turned out that it was...at least for me.

Year 2000 was the year i met the man i was going to spend the rest of my life with.

Fast forward to year 2012.

Last week i was reviewing old episodes of FRIENDS (as i always do) and i came across an episode where Monica was having wedding jitters. Here are snippets of their conversation (edited version).

Monica: Doesn’t it ever just freak you out that-that you’re never gonna be with anybody new again?

Chandler: What?

Monica: It’s just that sometimes it bothers me that I’m never gonna have that feeling. Y’know when you meet someone for the first time and it’s new and exciting? Y’know that rush?

That got me thinking. Don't we also have similar thoughts once in a while? The thrill of going on that first date again, meeting someone new, getting anxious and excited at the same time.  It's not like we don't love the one we're with, it's just that sometimes we miss the rush.

But i like the conversation that followed after that.

Chandler: Look,  for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives.

Monica: y’know what? I’m gonna have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid…

And it's true. Being married does not mean an end to the excitement.  Remember how you felt the first time you realized you're having a baby? How about the first time you brought your child to school? Or your first successful business venture?  Now that you're married, you simply have someone to celebrate all these milestones with for the rest of your life. Isn't that even more exciting?

First Boracay trip together, 2002

First time to ride a camel, Great Wall of China 2002

First badminton tournament, 2003

First time to meet a baby elephant, Thailand 2004



First Europe trip together, Paris 2005

First pregnancy, Las Vegas 2006

First cruise together, Alaska 2007

First night with a baby at home, 2008 

First trip with a baby, Japan 2009



First baby girl

 

To the man i will continue to celebrate all my firsts with,

Happy Anniversary, Love! 

It's wonderful to wake up beside you every day.

Always,

fan 

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Happy Blog Anniversary

I started blogging in 2007 after we lost our first baby Tyler. I decided to write about what we went through and all of God's wonderful blessings after that. My blog then was limited to family and friends since I did not think others will be interested in what I have to say if they do not know me personally.

Some speaking engagements later, I decided to 'go public' and share Tyler's testimony to others. I started this new blog in August of 2011 and shared our family's journey as they unfold. I blog because I want people to see that there is truly hope after a storm. I want people to see God's goodness and that our family's story did not end after losing Tyler. God has been wonderful and my heart overflows with gratitude.

I have received so many thoughtful letters and tweets from people I don't even know. From the person who said reading about our story restored her faith in God to the mom who said that God comforted her through the blog after she miscarried her first baby - you are why I write.  I am further inspired to share our family's testimony as I witness how our loss has helped others.

It has been a year and we have an exciting journey ahead. Thank you for sticking around. God bless.

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Where were you on 9/11?

My husband and I became a couple on September 11 in 2000. A year after, when we were celebrating our first anniversary, terrorists attacked the United States. I remember being in a Karaoke place in Malate with my cousins and bible study group when my aunt called to say we have to go home immediately. She said the World Trade Center has been bombed. Our immediate thought was ‘the World Trade Center near Roxas Boulevard? Oh no, we have to go home fast before traffic starts to build up’. On our way home, we got another call from my aunt saying we need to pray for our uncle in the US since they cannot contact him. That’s when we realized that she was not referring to the World Trade in Manila but the twin towers in New York. That was where my uncle worked.

I remember getting home and seeing my parents glued to the TV. We watched the planes hit the twin towers on the news in disbelief as we constantly tried to contact my uncle. We finally got to speak with him after what seemed like a long time.

My uncle was telling us about his experience that day. He was already in the office when they heard a loud crashing sound. They were then asked to evacuate the building immediately. He did not know what was happening and did not realize the gravity of the situation. My uncle went out of the building and just stayed there to wait for further instructions. After a while, they were given clearance to go back to the office. My uncle and his friends decided to go get some ice cream first. A few minutes after, their building collapsed. He said he still did not know what was happening but started going with the crowd rushing outside of the area. He only found out about what really happened when he reached home and saw the news.

I remember an email that was sent around during that time and I’d like to share a portion of it with you.

·         As you might know, the head of a company survived because his son started kindergarten.

·         Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

·         One woman was late because her alarm did not go off in time.

·         One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of a car accident.

·         One of them missed his bus.

·         One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

·         One went back to answer the telephone.

·         One had a child that dawdled and did not get ready as soon as he should have.

·         One couldn't get a taxi.

·         One had a blister on his foot and stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.  

Now when i am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone and all the little things that annoy me, i think to myself, this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment.

This is not to say that God was not watching over those people whose lives ended on 9/11. God’s will is perfect…and though we cannot understand his plans, we should just trust His heart. He knows what is best.

For those of us who have lived through difficult times and witnessed God’s love and power,  do not forget what God has done for us.

Joshua 4:20-22: And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. He said to the Israelites, "In the future when your descendants ask their fathers, 'What do these stones mean?' Tell them, 'Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground'"

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