Finding The Balance: Love and Discipline

It usually starts out as a perfect sunny morning. My little girl would wake up first and immediately wants to play with her older brother. She squirms herself down the bed and walks over to the other side of the room where her older brother is still sleeping. She wakes him up and he embraces her and and asks what she likes to play. They would then go to one side of the room playing with their toys and laughing to their hearts' content.

This is the wonderful scene almost every morning in our home. How I wish it stays that way the whole day.

I normally go home from work around 5:30pm. The two kids would come rushing to me with their arms wide open. The little girl immediately asks me to carry her while her older brother starts enumerating what his little sister has done wrong during the day. From hitting him to throwing his toys. Our yaya would then defend the little girl saying the older brother refused to share which caused the hitting and throwing in the first place. What happened to the loving siblings just 11 hours ago???

It is sometimes very overwhelming, isn't it? Moments of sweet quiet joy quickly turns into utter chaos. The inner mommy monster within you is unleashed to your dismay.

Throughout my journey as a new mom, i have been constantly on the lookout for books that would help me raise confident, respectful, and God-fearing children. From my countless readings, i am convinced that before you can discipline effectively, your child must first have the assurance that he is loved by his parent unconditionally.

My parenting equation is:

LOVE + DISCIPLINE = CONFIDENT, RESPECTFUL, and GOD-FEARING KIDS

And with that, i would like to share with you two wonderful books that have really helped me be a better parent.

1.  The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, M.D.

If you are familiar with Gary Chapman's other books (The Five Love Languages), you will already understand the concept of this book. All of us communicate love differently. It can vary from (1) Acts of service, (2) Quality time, (3) Physical touch, (4) Words of affirmation, (5) Receiving gifts. It is very important for us to determine what our child's love language is in order for us to align the way we show our love for them with their love language. For example, your child's love language is Quality Time but you have been so busy with work. You think giving him gifts (a.k.a. pasalubong) from the office will compensate. But since his love language is Quality Time, he will have a hard time relating that the gifts you are giving him is a sign of your love.

The book is truly an eye opener. I bought my copy from Amazon since i can't find it here in the Philippines. I assure you it's worth your time and money.

2.  Taming Your Family Zoo by Donna Jones

I love this book! It gives very practical and simple tips on how to raise well-mannered kids. This book promises results in six weeks! I haven't been as diligent to apply all that i've learned so I cannot attest to the six-week guarantee, but I know for sure this book has already helped us a lot.

This is a great book not only for parents of toddlers but also for those with difficult teenagers. It guides parents how to turn everyday activities into 'teachable moments' that children will remember for the rest of their lives.

I got my copy of Taming Your Family Zoo from last year's book fair at the SMX.  I think it was being sold at one of the Christian bookstores (either OMF or CSM). Hope you find a copy too!

Enjoy your journey to becoming the best parents for your children!