What is Your Children's Love Language?

Last night during our pillow talk session with the kids, I asked both my children two important questions.

1. Do you think Mommy loves you?

2. What makes you say that mommy loves you? (assuming, of course, that they answered YES to the first question)

Both of them said yes to the first question without hesitation. They were a little bit confused with the second question so I gave them choices based on the Five Love Languages.

Do you feel most loved by Mom when I:

a. Give you gifts (Gifts) - they both shaked their heads no, which is quite surprising for little kids who loves receiving gifts.

b. Say "I love you" to you (Words of Affirmation) - my 5-year old girl was quiet but my 8-year old said "Not really because anyone can say that"

c. Watch a movie with you or play with you (Quality Time) - to this my 5-year old girl excitedly said "Yes! Yes! Spend time with us! Family time!" and my son thought about it a little bit but asked if there were more choices.

d. Embrace you (Physical Touch) - my 5-year old girl said "I like that too!". My 8-year old son, on the other hand, just laughed.

e. Give you a bath or tutor you? (Acts of Service) - my excited 5-year old said "I only like it when you take a bath with me!" which leads me to think it was more quality time than acts of service. But what my 8-year old son said was quite surprising and enlightening to me. He said "I think that one! Because when you do something for us, it's not like you really like to do it. Like when you tutor me, you don't like it but you do it because you love me and you want me to learn"

My daughter's answers were pretty much on point.  She really loves spending time with us and looks forward to our weekly family movie time and bible study. Throughout these moments, she loves to cuddle with the entire family. So Physical Touch was also not a surprise too.

With Troy, I have always suspected that his love language was Acts of Service even when he was small. I noticed that whenever I get to feed him and give him baths during our family vacations or on weekends, he would always be so attached to me. But when I go back to the office and his yaya does most of it, he would gravitate towards her. It was not so much the time spent together but that he appreciated that I was making the effort to feed and bathe him. He would even ask me then if I also gave him a bath when he was a baby.

Troy is now 8 and do not need us to feed or bathe him anymore. Our acts of service now come in the form of teaching him his lessons (tutor), helping him build a lego project, or cooking something he likes to eat.

I learned so much from Gary Chapman's Five Languages of Love (that I shared on a post in 2012). I might read that book again now that I have identified my children's love language.

I encourage you to try the same Q & A with your children and zero in on their love language. Read the book if you want to learn more. Making your kids feel loved is always a worthy investment!

 

Read more...

Circle Maker Series: Think Long

As we end our Circle Maker series, I want us to learn one last concept:  Thinking long. We have already learned how to dream big and pray hard, now we need to practice thinking long.

 

We live in an instant-reward, instant-gratification world these days. We microwave frozen meals for dinner and eat instant noodles for lunch.  Even information is now easily at our fingertips via internet through our smart phones. Gone are the days when we had to trek to the library to get the information that we need or find a dictionary to get the meaning of a word.  Although the advancement of technology has its perks, it is also training us to be more impatient.

 

There is this pedestrian traffic light near our office that takes 99 seconds of waiting time before it turns green. The pedestrians usually start out by staring at the countdown.  99, 98, 97, 96, ...and then they start to get restless.  Little by little, the pedestrians would attempt to cross the street. Some will do a little back and forth marching, akin to playing patintero with the cars. The braver ones will just run for their dear lives, wishing and hoping that the cars would stop just in time. The fearful minority, which if often just me, would be left on the other side, continually staring at the countdown...36, 35, 34, 33...

 

Then one day, as I was left all alone waiting for the light to turn green, i realized something. 99 seconds is just a minute and a half. That's not a long wait, to be honest. Why do people risk their lives just to avoid waiting a minute and a half? Our quick-fix mindset teaches us that 99 seconds feel like an eternity and so we try to escape it if we could.

 

Don't we also have the same attitude towards prayer sometimes? We pray and we expect God to answer us immediately. We want quick answers and solutions to our problems. And after waiting with no word from the Lord, we get impatient and question the Lord. 

 

But you see, God answer our prayers at different times. Sometimes it takes a day but sometimes it can also take years. Other times, it can take even longer than our lifetime.

Towards the end of his life, Honi (the Circle Maker) was walking down a dirt road when he saw a man planting a carob tree. Always the inquisitive sage, Honi questioned him.  “How long will it take this tree to bear fruit?” The man replied, “Seventy years.”  Honi said, “Are you quite sure you will live another seventy years to eat its fruit?” The man replied, “Perhaps not.  However, when I was born into the world, I found many carob trees planted by my father and grandfather.  Just as they planted trees for me, I am planting trees for my children and grandchildren so they will be able to eat the fruit of these trees”

Prayer is the inheritance that we receive, and the legacy that we leave.

 

Praying is very much like planting. Some plants grow fast while others may take a while. Those prayer that seemingly never gets answered in this lifetime are just like Carob trees. You may not see the fruit now but the generations after you will reap the rewards of your prayer.

 

While I was reading the book about ‘Thinking Long’, I remembered my maternal Grandmother. She is one of the most prayerful women I have ever known. My cousins and I would always ask her to pray for important things in our lives because we often say “When Amah prays, God answers!”.  And as I read about prayer being an inheritance, I started to wonder how much of the blessings that our family is reaping now is due to my Amah’s prayer some 50 years ago. 

 

What legacy do you want to leave your children? More importantly, what lives do you want your future generation to live? We need to start praying now for our children and the generations after them. Prayer is the best legacy we can leave our family.

 

I want to share a story with you that the Mark Batterson, the author of the Circle Maker, shared in his book. When he was 13 years old, Mark got very sick and was taken to the ICU. At that time, their family just started attending Calvary Church – a church with thousands of members. One Sunday prior to the day Mark was admitted to the ICU, their family met Mr. Shmidgall. Mark's parents remembered how hospitable he was and decided to give him a call at 2am to request for prayers for Mark. In less than 10 minutes, Mr. Smidgall was already in the ICU praying over Mark.

 

And this is what Mark said “When he laid his hands on my head, I remember thinking there is no way God won’t answer his prayer.  He had a familiarity with God that was disarming.  He had a faith in God that was reassuring.  He could have called a staff member to make the visit. He didn’t. he could have waited until morning. He didn’t. He settled for a short night’s sleep on a short notice to pray for a thirteen-year old kid who was fighting for his life. Little did he know that this thirteen-year old kid would one day marry his daughter. Little did he know that this thirteen-year old kid would one day give him his first grandchild. There is no way he could have ever known. But that is the glorious mystery of prayer”

 

Little steps of obedience will give big pay-offs in the future

 

I want to believe that Mr. Smidgall was already praying for his daughter’s lifetime partner even when she was young. Little did he know that when he prayed over Mark that day out of obedience for the Lord, God was already at work in answering his prayers for his daughter’s lifetime partner. The act of obedience may totally be unrelated to the answer that you will get in the future, but that’s how God works. He loves surprising us. We just need to be sensitive to His leading and obey.

We can never tell how the prayers that we offer today, will be used by God greatly to mold our lives and those of our future generations in the years to come.

Think Long.

 



Read more...

The Gift of Hope

I once read a quote that says "Never deprive anyone of hope because it might be all they have left".  I was 13 years old when I read that in Robert Fulghum's book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. I read it in passing but the quote has somehow stayed with me and I am constantly reminded of it through the years. Hope, i came to understand, is such a simple yet powerful concept.

 

The toughest season of my life started two months before Christmas of 2006 when our first child, Tyler, was born. I can still remember having my two best friends sitting on my hospital bed when my mom delivered the sad news to me. Tyler had facial palsy on the left side of his face. I remember slowly processing that thought and asking questions I knew they had no answers to. I remember those nights I pretended to sleep beside Tyler by holding his picture on our digital camera on my pillow.  Or those days when I would instinctively turn on the camera first thing in the morning to look at his face once again.  I remember the first time Tyler held my hand on that November 24 morning while he was inside the incubator. I remember feeling overjoyed because I felt that he knew I was his mom. I remember the scent of the alcohol in the NICU that I tried searching for it in the groceries long after Tyler was gone. 

 

I can tell you a 1,001 things I remember during those two months with Tyler in our lives. I remember every feeling, every thought, every smell.  Because when you only get to spend two months with your child, you scramble inside your brain to try and remember every moment of it.

Through all of those random thoughts, one thing remain consistent in every day of Tyler's life. I remember praying. Praying hard. On my knees. Every single day.  Every moment I can. My days were filled with streams of conversations with the Lord.  I remember attending worship Sunday after Sunday. I remember going down on my knees as we sang. I remember my cousin embracing me and crying with me throughout the song.  I remember regularly attending prayer meetings and feeling comforted by the prayers lifted up for Tyler.  I remember how one of our church mates prayed over me in Chinese. I could not understand all the words but I remember feeling the Lord's peace wash over me. I remember finding solace in God's church, with God's people.

 

Prayer was my anchor during those times. One thing I came to realize recently was that during those two months, God's best gift to me was delivered through prayer. Consistently praying to the Lord gave me hope. Hope that my future is safe in God's hands. Hope that God's got my back.  Hope,  I realized, is a by-product of prayer. When we seek God and pray around His promises, then we are encouraged to repeatedly not lose hope.

 

While we all know that Tyler was not eventually healed, I realized that the power of prayer during those months was my power to carry on. Hope was God's gift to us.

 

It has been nine years since those difficult days. God has turned our sorrow into dancing.  It was not an easy path but God has been with us every step of the way. We went through two other pregnancies without fear because God has constantly been our hope. We are now blessed us with two beautiful children who will always be a testament of God's love and faithfulness over our family.

 

That, my friends, is the power of prayer.

 

 

Know Tyler's story:

• Tyler's Testimony - http://densandfan.blogspot.com/2011/08/tylers-testimoney-blogged-november-28.html
• A Letter to Heaven - http://densandfan.blogspot.com/2011/10/letter-to-heaven.html
• 65 Days with Tyler - http://densandfan.blogspot.com/2012/10/65-days-with-tyler.html 
• One Sad December Morning - http://densandfan.blogspot.com/2012/12/one-sad-december-morning.html 
• Remember 2006 - http://densandfan.blogspot.com/2013/10/remembering-2006.html
• I Will See You in Heaven - http://densandfan.blogspot.com/2014/04/i-will-see-you-in-heaven.html 

Read more...

On Letting Go and Moving On

I recently read an except from the book Lament for a Son. The book is written by a father who lost his son through an accident.  I have not read the entire book but I thought the words written holds true for those of us who have experienced grief.

 

Rather often I am asked whether the grief remains as intense as when I wrote. The answer is, No. The wound is no longer raw. But it has not disappeared. That is as it should be. If he was worth loving, he is worth grieving over.

 

Grief is an existential testimony to the worth of the one loved. That worth abides. So I own my grief. I do not try to put it behind me, to get over it, to forget it… Every lament is a love-song.

The months following Tyler's passing, I remember wanting to cry.  And it's not uncontrollable crying. It's almost like I was intentionally making myself sad by remembering Tyler. Similar to how you want to watch sad movies and do a cryfest or tempting yourself to a horror movie only to scare yourself silly days after. I just wanted to cry. It's not because I am a sadist of some sort; but somehow,  I felt that crying validates my grief. And my grief, validates Tyler's existence.

 

This is one thing I came to realize. You should allow yourself to feel sad. Days after Tyler passed away, a number of well-meaning friends have said words like "You should move on" or "You need to let go".  I know it's good advice in the general scheme of my life. But during that season of my life, i did not want to move on. I did not want to let go. Moving on and letting go, to me, felt like forgetting Tyler.

 

I remember having the same thoughts weeks after I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. I did not want to move on. It was a good relationship that just did not work out the way we wanted it to.  Moving on felt like forgetting the relationship. And I needed time to wallow in my sadness. And in hindsight, I think, that's all right too.

 

I like the line from the book that says If he was worth loving, he is worth grieving over.  When we grieve over someone, it just tells others that the person was loved by us. It's okay to be sad. And when you're done being sad, then that's the time you move on. And you don't need to force yourself to let go of the pain. Time, as I have come to understand, does that for us.

 

If you are still in the season of grief, let me tell you this: It's okay to be sad and it's okay to cry. It does not make you any less stronger. It just makes you human.  Take it from someone who still cries at random events and needs a box of tissue every now and then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Read more...

Circle Maker Series: Step Into Your Next Miracle

 Are you still waiting for that miracle you have been praying for? Let me fill you in on a little secret I discovered recently. Some miracles require a step of faith. 

 

Allow me to explain. Remember the Israelites? They have been walking around for 40 years and have not reached their destination. When they finally reached the land that the Lord has promised them, there was a problem. A huge wall protected it. God tasked them to take a step of faith. Circle the wall for seven days. After they obeyed, the miracle happened. The wall fell and they were able to conquer the land. But you know what? They already had some practice as far as stepping into a miracle is concerned.

 

Joshua 3:11-16

 

Look, the Ark of the Covenant, which belongs to the Lord of the whole earth, will lead across the Jordan River. Now choose twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one from each tribe.  The priests will carry the Ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth. As soon as their feet touch the water, the flow of water will be cut off upstream, and the river will stand up like a wall."

 

So the people left their camp to cross the Jordan, and the priests who were carrying the Ark of the Covenent went ahead of them.  It was the harvest season, and the Jordan was overflowing its banks. But as soon as the feet of the priests who were carrying the Ark touched the water at the river's edge, the water above that point began backing up a great distance away at a town called Adam, which is near Zarethan.  And the water below that point flowed on to the Dead Sea until the riverbed was dry.  Then all the people crossed over near the town of Jericho.

 

Now let's focus on the Lord's instruction in verse 13. He asked that the priests get their feet wet in order for the water to part. Don't we often want it to happen the other way around? "Lord, part the waters first before I will step in!" We lack the courage to obey before the Lord shows us a clear way.

 

God required a step of faith from the priests. A lot of times, He also requires the same from us before our miracle happens. Have you been asking for a friend's healing? Well, pray over that person. Take a step of faith. What has the Lord been prompting you to do lately? Listen carefully and obey. It is often our unwillingness to take a step of faith that prevents us from reaching the miracle we have been asking for.

 

The Israelites were just a river away from the promised land. Had the priests not taken that step of faith, they will not have been able to conquer God's blessing.

 

Here's something from the book that I want to share with you. "Some people spend their entire lives on the eastern shore of the Jordan waiting for God to part the river while God waits for them to get their feet wet. We're so close to the dream, so close to the promise, so close to the miracle. But we aren't willing to get our feet wet"

 

Think about it. What has God been asking you to do? Are you willing to get your feet wet? Are you willing to take that step of faith? Obey.  You may only be a step away into your next miracle.

 

Read more...

Circle Maker Series: Praying Through

Every night before going to bed, I would pray and lift up my concerns to the Lord. I have a number of prayer items that have been there for as long as I can remember.  Do you also experience drought in your prayer life sometimes? When it feels like you are just going around in circles and nothing is happening? Well, you need to read this.

I will start this post by sharing two stories. One from the Bible and one from the Circle Maker book.

Story 1: Luke 18: 1-5    

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

One day Jesus told his disciples of a story to show that they should always pray and not give up.  "There was a judge in a certain city," he said, "who neither feared God nor cared about people. A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, 'Give me justice in this dispute with the enemy.'  The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, 'I don't fear God or care about people, but this woman is driving me crazy. I'm going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!'"

Story 2:  In standardized math tests, Japanese children consistently score higher than their American counterparts. While some assume that a natural proclivity toward mathematics is the primary difference, researchers have discovered that it may have more to do with effort than ability. In one study involving first-graders, students were given a difficult puzzle to solve. The researchers weren’t interested in whether or not the children could solve the puzzle; they simply wanted to see how long they would try before giving up. The American children lasted, on average, 9.47 minutes. The Japanese children lasted 13.93 minutes. In other words, the Japanese children tried 47 percent longer. Is it any wonder why they score higher on math exams? Researchers concluded that the difference in math scores might have less to do with intelligence quotient and more to do with persistence quotient. The Japanese first-graders simply tried harder.
 

Now do these stories tell us? Success is, more often than not, a product of persistence.  In the story of the persistent widow, the Bible was silent on what sort of injustice took place. Maybe her son was falsely imprisoned or maybe a man who molested her daughter was still walking free. Whatever injustice she was facing, it is apparent that the widow will not stop until the judge grants her the justice she is looking for. That is what makes her a circle maker.

In my previous post, i talked about dreaming big and praying bold prayers. Now here's the question we need to answer. How desperate are we for God to fulfill those dreams? How many times are you willing to lift that request up in prayer? How long are you willing to wait?

We all know that God is sovereign and the answers to our prayers do not depend on us. Ultimately, the answer will still be God's decision. But it is also up to us to show the Lord how serious we are with our request.

Pray like it depends on God (because it really does!)

 

If I tell you now that I know a person who can grant your deepest request, wouldn’t you be curious and immediately schedule an appointment with him?  Stop for a moment and consider this.  God CAN answer that desperate dream that we have.  Why aren't we constantly seeking the Lord for the answer?   If we do not pray and seek God like the miracle depends on Him, then our answers will always be out of our prayer reach.

In 1 Kings 18: 41-46, the Bible talked about a story of drought. Very similar to Honi's story.  Elijah went up to Mount Carmel to pray for rain. After each prayer, he would ask his servant to go and look out toward the sea and check for rain. When there was still no sign of rain, Elijah would pray again. He did this for seven times before God sent a terrific rainstorm.

This story reminded me of a story I previously shared about the Jericho Wall. The Israelites had to circle the wall of Jericho for seven days before they were able to break through the wall conquer the promised land. Similarly, there was no tangible difference after Elijah prayed for the first, second, third, until the sixth time. But he persisted until the Lord answered his request for rain after his seventh prayer.  Just like the Israelites, Elijah would have forfeited the miracle had he stopped praying on the sixth time.

Now in my prayer list, there are big and small items. I have a few friends who tell me that they only pray the big-ticket items so that God is no longer bothered by the smaller ones. Here's the next point that i want to share with you.

 

God is great not only because nothing is too big for Him.  He is also great because nothing is too small for Him.

The bible said that there is no sparrow that falls to the ground that the Lord does not know about. I recently found out that the maya bird is a type of sparrow. I guess the reason why the Lord used a sparrow to explain this point is because there are just a lot of sparrows in the world. With all the seemingly more important world events, can you imagine why God would even bother knowing each one of the sparrow?

A few weeks ago, our Pastor shared something with us that made me understand God's heart more.  The Bible says that the hairs on our head are numbered. The Lord did not say they are counted, but that they are numbered.  This means that when a hair falls, the Lord does not say "Minus 1 hair from Fan's head", the Lord will say "Hair #2546 has just fallen". Our hairs are numbered.

Isn't it amazing how God is into the details of our lives? There is nothing too big for him and yet there is also nothing too small for Him.  The Lord listens to all our concerns. May it be our parenting struggles, healing from a serious illness, career choice, or finding the love of our life.  The Lord is interested in all of them.

I urge all of you to pray through the tough times and not give up.  Because, who knows? You may just be a prayer away from the miracle you have been waiting for.

Read more...

Circle Maker Series: Dream Big

Think of this series as a book club. As I learn from the Circle Maker book, I would like to share my insights with all of you. There will be no specific outline but just random ideas that I am gathering as I read along. Before you proceed, i encourage you to read the legend of the circle maker first.

 

The first time I heard the story of Honi several years ago, it did not appeal to me so much. I thought Honi was discontented and kind of rude to demand from the Lord. And this was my recent revelation. 

“God is not offended by your biggest dreams or boldest prayers. He is offended by anything less."

 

Don’t we often limit God? We analyze too much and reason that what we want is logically impossible. So we adjust our grandest dreams and make them mediocre.  We do away with the bigger dream and settle for a small dream that we know can be accomplished without divine intervention.  But you know what? God is robbed of the glory when we limit our dreams!  God is honored by big dreams. Why? Because once the dream is fulfilled, there is no way we can take credit for it! Bold prayers honor God, and God honors bold prayers. Big dreams bring us to our knees, praying and depending on the Lord. And as we pray, we grow closer to the Lord and know His heart. In fact, you may even start to change your dream as your personal will aligns with His will. 

Remember when the Israelites prayed for meat as they journeyed to the promised land?

 

Numbers 11:31

 

"Now the Lord sent a wind that brought quail from the sea and let them fall all around the camp. For miles in every direction there were quails flying about three feet above the ground."

When quail started to fall from the sky, imagine how the Israelites felt. I am sure they were in awe. Each Israelite gathered no less than 10 homers of quail. With 600,000 men, there would be a total of 6 million homers of quail that fell. And if one homer is roughly 200 liters, then we can statistically figure that it rained 105 million quails that day. Imagine that. When God answers, He does not only provide in a dramatic fashion, He can provide in dramatic proportions.

 

I challenge you to spend time with the Lord in prayer and wait on Him.  As you spend time with the Lord, write down promises that He will reveal to you.  Maybe the promises will come through Bible verses or words from your devotional book. Or it may be an impression that the Lord places in your heart.  Whatever it is, write them down and pray for the Lord to reveal more of Himself to you. And i guarantee that as you get the know His heart, you will see Him for the loving Father that He truly is.

 

I will close this post with a phrase from the book that i love.

If you keep circling your dream in prayer, God will get bigger and bigger until you see your impossible prayer for what it really is: An easy answer for an almighty God.

Read more...

The Legend of Honi, the Circle Maker

thecirclemaker.com

I have been reading one of the most inspiring books i have ever read. I learned so much about prayer and investing in my relationship with the Lord.  Join me in the next few weeks as i share my insights with you. To jump start this series, please read the story that founded this book.

The Legend

It was the first century BC and a devastating drought threatened to destroy a generation, the generation before Jesus. The last of the Jewish prophets had died off nearly four centuries before. Miracles were such a distant memory that they seemed like a false memory. And God was nowhere to be heard. But there was one man, an eccentric sage who lived outside the walls of Jerusalem, who dared to pray anyway. His name was Honi.1 And even if the people could no longer hear God, he believed that God could still hear them.

When rain is plentiful, it’s an afterthought. During a drought, it’s the only thought. And Honi was their only hope. Famous for his ability to pray for rain, it was on this day—the day—that Honi would earn his moniker.

With a six-foot staff in his hand, Honi began to turn like a math compass. His circular movement was rhythmical and methodical. Ninety degrees. One hundred and eighty degrees. Two hundred and seventy degrees. Three hundred and sixty degrees. He never looked up as the crowd looked on. After what seemed like hours, but had only been seconds, Honi stood inside the circle he had drawn. Then he dropped to his knees and raised his hands to heaven. With the authority of the prophet Elijah who called down fire from heaven, Honi called down rain.

“Lord of the Universe, I swear before your great name that I will not move from this circle until you have shown mercy upon your children.”

The words sent a shudder down the spine of all who were within earshot that day. It wasn’t just the volume of his voice. It was the authority of his tone. Not a hint of doubt. This prayer didn’t originate in the vocal chords. Like water from an artesian well, the words flowed from the depth of his soul. His prayer was resolute yet humble; confident yet meek; expectant yet unassuming.

Then it happened.

As his prayer ascended to the heavens, raindrops descended to the earth. An audible gasp swept across the thousands of congregants who had encircled Honi. Every head turned heavenward as the first raindrops parachuted from the sky, but Honi’s head remained bowed. The people rejoiced over each drop, but Honi wasn’t satisfied with a sprinkle. Still kneeling within the circle, Honi lifted his voice over the sounds of celebration.

“Not for such rain have I prayed, but for rain that will fill cisterns, pits, and caverns.”

The sprinkle turned into such a torrential downpour that eyewitnesses said no raindrop was smaller than an egg in size. It rained so heavily and so steadily that the people fled to the Temple Mount to escape the flash floods. Honi stayed and prayed inside his protracted circle. Once more he refined his bold request.

“Not for such rain have I prayed, but for rain of Thy favor, blessing, and graciousness.”

Then, like a well-proportioned sun shower on a hot and humid August afternoon, it began to rain calmly, peacefully. Each raindrop was a tangible token of God’s grace. And they didn’t just soak the skin; they soaked the spirit with faith. It would be forever remembered as the day. The day thunderclaps applauded the Almighty. The day puddle jumping became an act of praise. The day the legend of the circle maker was born. It had been difficult to believe the day before the day. The day after the day, it was impossible not to believe.

Honi was celebrated like a hometown hero by the people whose lives he had saved. But some within the Sanhedrin called the Circle Maker into question. A faction believed that drawing a circle and demanding rain dishonored God. Maybe it was those same members of the Sanhedrin who would criticize Jesus for healing a man’s withered arm on the Sabbath a generation later. They threatened Honi with excommunication, but because the miracle could not be repudiated, Honi was ultimately honored for his act of prayerful bravado.

The prayer that saved a generation was deemed one of the most significant prayers in the history of Israel. The circle he drew in the sand became a sacred symbol. And the legend of Honi the circle maker stands forever as a testament to the power of a single prayer to change the course of history.

Read more...

I Will See You in Heaven

Have you ever encountered God in a movie theater?

Last Easter Sunday, our family decided to watch Heaven is For Real. I am familiar with the book and was excited to watch the movie the first time i saw the trailer. This is a true story about a 4-year old boy who talks about how he has visited heaven while he was being operated on for raptured appendicitis. Although i have yet to verify how Biblical his experience truly is, in my heart i believe that his encounter is real. And more importantly, that it is from the Lord.

Having lost Tyler back in 2006, i have always wondered about Heaven. I often tell Dens that when the time comes for God to call me back to Him, i will look for Tyler. But until last Sunday, i don't think i was really brave enough to ask the questions that have been in my heart for so long.  I have always silently wondered if Tyler would remain a baby forever. I questioned how we could ever really communicate if that was the case. Furthermore, i know from the Bible that our earthly relationships are no longer the same in heaven. That thought hurts me somehow because that meant that Tyler would never know me as his mom.  I would always try to comfort myself with the idea that there is no more sorrow in heaven. But thinking about it never fails give me that lump in my throat that i cannot get over.

As soon as i got home from watching the movie, i immediately started reading the book of the same title that my dad gave me over a year ago. It has an excerpt of the time the 4-year old boy, Colton, visited heaven and met his unborn sister.  She passed away when his mom miscarried the baby during the first/second trimester.

"Mommy, I have two sisters," Colton said.

I put down my pen. Sonja didn't. She kept on working. 

Colton repeated himself.  "Mommy, I have two sisters."

Sonja looked up from her paperwork and shook her head slightly.  "No, you have your sister, Cassie, and...do you mean your cousin, Traci?"

"No." Colton clipped off the word adamantly.  "I have two sisters. You had a baby die in your tummy, didn't you?"

At that moment, time stopped in the Burpo household, and Sonja's eyes grew wide.  Just a few seconds before, Colton had been trying unsuccessfully to get his mom to listen to him. Now, even from the kitchen table, I could see that he had her undivided attention.

"Who told you I had a baby die in my tummy?" Sonja said, her tone serious.

"She did, Mommy. She said she died in your tummy."

                                    --------------------------------------------------------------

"In heaven, this little girl ran up to me, and she wouldn't stop hugging me," he said in a tone that clearly indicated he didn't enjoy all this hugging from a girl.

"Maybe she was just happy that someone from her family was there," Sonja offered.  "Girls hug. When we're happy, we hug"

Colton didn't seem convinced.

Sonja's eyes lit up and she asked, "What was her name? What was the little girl's name?"

Colton seemed to forget all about the yucky girl hugs for a moment.  "She doesn't have a name.  You guys didn't name her."

How did he know that?

"Your're right, Colton," Sonja said.  "We didn't even know she was a she"

Then Colton said something that still rings in my ears: "Yeah, she said she just can't wait for you and Daddy to get to heaven."

From the kitchen table, I could see that Sonja was barely holding it together.  She gave Colton a kiss and told him he could go play.  And when he left the room, tears spilled over her cheeks.

"Our baby is okay," she whispered.  "Our baby is okay."

From that moment on, the wound from one of the most painful episodes in our lives, losing a child we had wanted very much, began to heal.


Isn't that amazing? I've read this part of the book so many times and it still overflows my heart with so much joy. Our little Tyler is truly well now. I want to believe the Lord allowed Colton to experience this to give healing to his parents and to every parent who has experienced the loss of a child. 

Thank you, Lord, for this revelation.  We will see Tyler again when we get to heaven and he will know that we are his parents. I will meet him and tell him of how much the Lord has used him to change our lives. He will know how much we love him and we will tell him all about his siblings, Troy & Dawn.  We may have lost him for several years on earth, but it looks like we will be enjoying eternity together with the Lord in heaven. How wonderful is that?

The idea of eternity in heaven has never felt more real. This is truly a beautiful movie. Pray, as you watch it, that God will reveal His heart to you. Be ready - you will find yourself seeking more of Him after watching this film.  May the Lord use this film to touch the hearts of people and draw them closer to Him. Heaven is indeed for real. Jesus is for real.

Jeremiah 29:13 says "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Read more...

To eBook or Not to eBook?





photo from amazon.com

 With the growing popularity of eBooks, do you still buy books?

I have always been partial to buying actual books instead of downloading them. There is something magical about holding an actual book, turning the pages, and getting lost in the story.  However, the convenience of downloading an eBook and being able to access and read it anytime is just too tempting.  The past year, i have been converted convinced and have slowly transitioned to downloading e-books instead of buying them off the shelves.

I have always loved reading and that is one trait that i want my children to inherit. I am a believer that reading books regularly is the best way expand your knowledge and improve your communication skills. Troy is now five and is learning to read books on his own. He is excited about this newfound skill and have been trying to read and spell different words every day.

This made me think. My dad loves to read but i cannot remember a time when he explicitly encouraged me to read. So I wondered how i gained this love for reading.  Then i remember seeing the excitement of my dad each time he would buy a new book from the bookstore. He has now accumulated enough books to set up his own library. Ever since i was small, National Bookstore would be my dad's default shopping place. I would stay there with him until he is ready to go. I would grab some Archie comics and read them while i was there. Eventually, my dad noticed my love for reading and would usually ask me to choose a book each time we visit the bookstore. I felt like a kid wandering excitedly in a toy store looking for a newfound treasure.  My mom supported this hobby and also purchased newly released Archie comics or Sweet Valley books for me as she sees them.  Before i knew it, i already had a mini library of my favorite books at home.  As i grew up, i gained the habit of going to the bookstore and scouting for new books to read as we visited the malls.

The years passed and this habit slowly stopped with the advent of the internet and eBooks. You can now easily read interesting stories and ideas online. Books can now be downloaded as eBooks. The publishing industry is slowly becoming obsolete.

Then i had a thought. How can i instill the same love for reading to my children? I can encourage them as much as i can but if they don't see me reading books myself, i doubt how much of an impact my encouraging words would have on them. I still read a lot these days but it's usually through my iPhone. That doesn't tell the kids much, does it? For all i know, they are probably thinking i am just playing some new game or checking my Facebook account. Not much parental modeling here, people. So this is my new plan. Every once in a while, i will buy a book to read. Not download it as an eBook but go back to the bookstores and purchase some books once again. I'd like my kids to see me read. I don't want them to see me so engrossed on my gadget wondering whether i'm surfing, texting, or playing games. I want to teach them by example just as my dad did with me.

What a small price to pay in my continued quest to be a supermodel to my kids.

Deuteronomy 6: 6-7
 "⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Read more...

Bible Reading for Kids

I woke up this morning with Dawn sleeping soundly beside me.  I looked at the time and saw that i still have a few more minutes to spare before my alarm clock goes off.  As i was about to go back to sleep, i was surprised to see Dens and Troy already awake and reading Troy's children's bible. My surprise was not so much that they were reading the bible together, it was more because they were up extra early. If you know my husband well, you will know that sleep is oh-so-precious to him. That is why i appreciate him so much more when i saw that he took the effort to wake up early to have this special time with Troy.

Dens started their daily bible reading around 3 months ago.  Troy enjoys the stories and the time with his dad. He looks forward to it when he wakes up and makes sure the bible is on Dens' bedside before we go to sleep at night. On some nights, Troy would request for Dens to also read the bible to him before going to bed. In effect, he has two devotional time with the Lord in a day! That's double the quota i've set for myself during my 21-day challenge!

They have finished the entire children's bible and are just reviewing their favorite stories now. We have been using My First Bible from Good Books.  It has a lot of colorful illustration and the stories are simplified to make it easier for children to understand. There are a lot of children's bibles out there. Go to the bookstore with your child and have them pick out their favorite. We just might do that again with Troy soon.

Psalm 119:133 "Direct my steps by Your word"

Read more...

Finding The Balance: Love and Discipline

It usually starts out as a perfect sunny morning. My little girl would wake up first and immediately wants to play with her older brother. She squirms herself down the bed and walks over to the other side of the room where her older brother is still sleeping. She wakes him up and he embraces her and and asks what she likes to play. They would then go to one side of the room playing with their toys and laughing to their hearts' content.

This is the wonderful scene almost every morning in our home. How I wish it stays that way the whole day.

I normally go home from work around 5:30pm. The two kids would come rushing to me with their arms wide open. The little girl immediately asks me to carry her while her older brother starts enumerating what his little sister has done wrong during the day. From hitting him to throwing his toys. Our yaya would then defend the little girl saying the older brother refused to share which caused the hitting and throwing in the first place. What happened to the loving siblings just 11 hours ago???

It is sometimes very overwhelming, isn't it? Moments of sweet quiet joy quickly turns into utter chaos. The inner mommy monster within you is unleashed to your dismay.

Throughout my journey as a new mom, i have been constantly on the lookout for books that would help me raise confident, respectful, and God-fearing children. From my countless readings, i am convinced that before you can discipline effectively, your child must first have the assurance that he is loved by his parent unconditionally.

My parenting equation is:

LOVE + DISCIPLINE = CONFIDENT, RESPECTFUL, and GOD-FEARING KIDS

And with that, i would like to share with you two wonderful books that have really helped me be a better parent.

1.  The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, M.D.

If you are familiar with Gary Chapman's other books (The Five Love Languages), you will already understand the concept of this book. All of us communicate love differently. It can vary from (1) Acts of service, (2) Quality time, (3) Physical touch, (4) Words of affirmation, (5) Receiving gifts. It is very important for us to determine what our child's love language is in order for us to align the way we show our love for them with their love language. For example, your child's love language is Quality Time but you have been so busy with work. You think giving him gifts (a.k.a. pasalubong) from the office will compensate. But since his love language is Quality Time, he will have a hard time relating that the gifts you are giving him is a sign of your love.

The book is truly an eye opener. I bought my copy from Amazon since i can't find it here in the Philippines. I assure you it's worth your time and money.

2.  Taming Your Family Zoo by Donna Jones

I love this book! It gives very practical and simple tips on how to raise well-mannered kids. This book promises results in six weeks! I haven't been as diligent to apply all that i've learned so I cannot attest to the six-week guarantee, but I know for sure this book has already helped us a lot.

This is a great book not only for parents of toddlers but also for those with difficult teenagers. It guides parents how to turn everyday activities into 'teachable moments' that children will remember for the rest of their lives.

I got my copy of Taming Your Family Zoo from last year's book fair at the SMX.  I think it was being sold at one of the Christian bookstores (either OMF or CSM). Hope you find a copy too!

Enjoy your journey to becoming the best parents for your children!

Read more...