Showing posts with label book. Show all posts
Showing posts with label book. Show all posts

Ordinary Weekends

quotesgram.com
We do not have big things planned this weekend. And that's all right.
 
Our weekends start slowly on Friday with an early date with my husband.  That is usually followed by a movie date at home with the kids when they can sleep a little past their usual bedtime. Saturday and Sundays are filled with the kids' extra-curricular activities, church and visits to the mall.  We pretty much have a standard weekend routine. Nothing grand unless we are invited to an event or we're celebrating an occasion. But that's perfectly all right. We thrive on routine and celebrate the ordinary.  
 
You see, there will come a day when the kids will have their own families and spending time together means having to schedule an appointment. Those are the days when these lazy weekends will become a sacred memory. I would hate to look back and wish I that I had paid more attention to the ordinary days. Cherish the season and enjoy the moment.
 
I'd like to end this post by sharing an excerpt from Katrina Kenison's book "The Gift of an Ordinary Day".  
 
"The bookshelf in my own living room is full of photo albums, nearly twenty years worth of well-documented birthday cakes and holidays,  piano recitals and Little League games.  But the memories I find myself sifting through the past to find, the ones that I’d give anything now to relive, are the ones that no one ever thought to photograph, the ones that came and went as softly as a breeze on a summer afternoon.
 
It has taken a while, but I certainly do know it now–the most wonderful gift I had, the gift I’ve finally learned to cherish above all else, was the gift of all those perfectly ordinary days."
 
Here's to a beautiful ordinary weekend.  TGIF!
 
 

Read more...

What is Your Children's Love Language?

Last night during our pillow talk session with the kids, I asked both my children two important questions.

1. Do you think Mommy loves you?
2. What makes you say that mommy loves you? (assuming, of course, that they answered YES to the first question)

Both of them said yes to the first question without hesitation. They were a little bit confused with the second question so I gave them choices based on the Five Love Languages.

Do you feel most loved by Mom when I:

a. Give you gifts (Gifts) - they both shaked their heads no, which is quite surprising for little kids who loves receiving gifts.

b. Say "I love you" to you (Words of Affirmation) - my 5-year old girl was quiet but my 8-year old said "Not really because anyone can say that"

c. Watch a movie with you or play with you (Quality Time) - to this my 5-year old girl excitedly said "Yes! Yes! Spend time with us! Family time!" and my son thought about it a little bit but asked if there were more choices.

d. Embrace you (Physical Touch) - my 5-year old girl said "I like that too!". My 8-year old son, on the other hand, just laughed.

e. Give you a bath or tutor you? (Acts of Service) - my excited 5-year old said "I only like it when you take a bath with me!" which leads me to think it was more quality time than acts of service. But what my 8-year old son said was quite surprising and enlightening to me. He said "I think that one! Because when you do something for us, it's not like you really like to do it. Like when you tutor me, you don't like it but you do it because you love me and you want me to learn"

My daughter's answers were pretty much on point.  She really loves spending time with us and looks forward to our weekly family movie time and bible study. Throughout these moments, she loves to cuddle with the entire family. So Physical Touch was also not a surprise too.

With Troy, I have always suspected that his love language was Acts of Service even when he was small. I noticed that whenever I get to feed him and give him baths during our family vacations or on weekends, he would always be so attached to me. But when I go back to the office and his yaya does most of it, he would gravitate towards her. It was not so much the time spent together but that he appreciated that I was making the effort to feed and bathe him. He would even ask me then if I also gave him a bath when he was a baby.

Troy is now 8 and do not need us to feed or bathe him anymore. Our acts of service now come in the form of teaching him his lessons (tutor), helping him build a lego project, or cooking something he likes to eat.

I learned so much from Gary Chapman's Five Languages of Love (that I shared on a post in 2012). I might read that book again now that I have identified my children's love language.

I encourage you to try the same Q & A with your children and zero in on their love language. Read the book if you want to learn more. Making your kids feel loved is always a worthy investment!


 

Read more...

Circle Maker Series: Think Long

As we end our Circle Maker series, I want us to learn one last concept:  Thinking long. We have already learned how to dream big and pray hard, now we need to practice thinking long.
 
We live in an instant-reward, instant-gratification world these days. We microwave frozen meals for dinner and eat instant noodles for lunch.  Even information is now easily at our fingertips via internet through our smart phones. Gone are the days when we had to trek to the library to get the information that we need or find a dictionary to get the meaning of a word.  Although the advancement of technology has its perks, it is also training us to be more impatient.
 
There is this pedestrian traffic light near our office that takes 99 seconds of waiting time before it turns green. The pedestrians usually start out by staring at the countdown.  99, 98, 97, 96, ...and then they start to get restless.  Little by little, the pedestrians would attempt to cross the street. Some will do a little back and forth marching, akin to playing patintero with the cars. The braver ones will just run for their dear lives, wishing and hoping that the cars would stop just in time. The fearful minority, which if often just me, would be left on the other side, continually staring at the countdown...36, 35, 34, 33...
 
Then one day, as I was left all alone waiting for the light to turn green, i realized something. 99 seconds is just a minute and a half. That's not a long wait, to be honest. Why do people risk their lives just to avoid waiting a minute and a half? Our quick-fix mindset teaches us that 99 seconds feel like an eternity and so we try to escape it if we could.
 
Don't we also have the same attitude towards prayer sometimes? We pray and we expect God to answer us immediately. We want quick answers and solutions to our problems. And after waiting with no word from the Lord, we get impatient and question the Lord. 
 
But you see, God answer our prayers at different times. Sometimes it takes a day but sometimes it can also take years. Other times, it can take even longer than our lifetime.
Towards the end of his life, Honi (the Circle Maker) was walking down a dirt road when he saw a man planting a carob tree. Always the inquisitive sage, Honi questioned him.  “How long will it take this tree to bear fruit?” The man replied, “Seventy years.”  Honi said, “Are you quite sure you will live another seventy years to eat its fruit?” The man replied, “Perhaps not.  However, when I was born into the world, I found many carob trees planted by my father and grandfather.  Just as they planted trees for me, I am planting trees for my children and grandchildren so they will be able to eat the fruit of these trees”

Prayer is the inheritance that we receive, and the legacy that we leave.
 
Praying is very much like planting. Some plants grow fast while others may take a while. Those prayer that seemingly never gets answered in this lifetime are just like Carob trees. You may not see the fruit now but the generations after you will reap the rewards of your prayer.
 
While I was reading the book about ‘Thinking Long’, I remembered my maternal Grandmother. She is one of the most prayerful women I have ever known. My cousins and I would always ask her to pray for important things in our lives because we often say “When Amah prays, God answers!”.  And as I read about prayer being an inheritance, I started to wonder how much of the blessings that our family is reaping now is due to my Amah’s prayer some 50 years ago. 
 
What legacy do you want to leave your children? More importantly, what lives do you want your future generation to live? We need to start praying now for our children and the generations after them. Prayer is the best legacy we can leave our family.
 
I want to share a story with you that the Mark Batterson, the author of the Circle Maker, shared in his book. When he was 13 years old, Mark got very sick and was taken to the ICU. At that time, their family just started attending Calvary Church – a church with thousands of members. One Sunday prior to the day Mark was admitted to the ICU, their family met Mr. Shmidgall. Mark's parents remembered how hospitable he was and decided to give him a call at 2am to request for prayers for Mark. In less than 10 minutes, Mr. Smidgall was already in the ICU praying over Mark.
 
And this is what Mark said “When he laid his hands on my head, I remember thinking there is no way God won’t answer his prayer.  He had a familiarity with God that was disarming.  He had a faith in God that was reassuring.  He could have called a staff member to make the visit. He didn’t. he could have waited until morning. He didn’t. He settled for a short night’s sleep on a short notice to pray for a thirteen-year old kid who was fighting for his life. Little did he know that this thirteen-year old kid would one day marry his daughter. Little did he know that this thirteen-year old kid would one day give him his first grandchild. There is no way he could have ever known. But that is the glorious mystery of prayer”
 
Little steps of obedience will give big pay-offs in the future
 
I want to believe that Mr. Smidgall was already praying for his daughter’s lifetime partner even when she was young. Little did he know that when he prayed over Mark that day out of obedience for the Lord, God was already at work in answering his prayers for his daughter’s lifetime partner. The act of obedience may totally be unrelated to the answer that you will get in the future, but that’s how God works. He loves surprising us. We just need to be sensitive to His leading and obey.

We can never tell how the prayers that we offer today, will be used by God greatly to mold our lives and those of our future generations in the years to come.

Think Long.
 


Read more...

On Letting Go and Moving On

I recently read an except from the book Lament for a Son. The book is written by a father who lost his son through an accident.  I have not read the entire book but I thought the words written holds true for those of us who have experienced grief.
 
Rather often I am asked whether the grief remains as intense as when I wrote. The answer is, No. The wound is no longer raw. But it has not disappeared. That is as it should be. If he was worth loving, he is worth grieving over.
 
Grief is an existential testimony to the worth of the one loved. That worth abides. So I own my grief. I do not try to put it behind me, to get over it, to forget it… Every lament is a love-song.

The months following Tyler's passing, I remember wanting to cry.  And it's not uncontrollable crying. It's almost like I was intentionally making myself sad by remembering Tyler. Similar to how you want to watch sad movies and do a cryfest or tempting yourself to a horror movie only to scare yourself silly days after. I just wanted to cry. It's not because I am a sadist of some sort; but somehow,  I felt that crying validates my grief. And my grief, validates Tyler's existence.
 
This is one thing I came to realize. You should allow yourself to feel sad. Days after Tyler passed away, a number of well-meaning friends have said words like "You should move on" or "You need to let go".  I know it's good advice in the general scheme of my life. But during that season of my life, i did not want to move on. I did not want to let go. Moving on and letting go, to me, felt like forgetting Tyler.
 
I remember having the same thoughts weeks after I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. I did not want to move on. It was a good relationship that just did not work out the way we wanted it to.  Moving on felt like forgetting the relationship. And I needed time to wallow in my sadness. And in hindsight, I think, that's all right too.
 
I like the line from the book that says If he was worth loving, he is worth grieving over.  When we grieve over someone, it just tells others that the person was loved by us. It's okay to be sad. And when you're done being sad, then that's the time you move on. And you don't need to force yourself to let go of the pain. Time, as I have come to understand, does that for us.
 
If you are still in the season of grief, let me tell you this: It's okay to be sad and it's okay to cry. It does not make you any less stronger. It just makes you human.  Take it from someone who still cries at random events and needs a box of tissue every now and then.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Read more...

  © Theme Designed by Fancy Girl Designs 2011 for Breakfast with Tiffany

Back to TOP