Losing Tyler

It was a Saturday morning, exactly 10 years ago, when I picked up that dreadful phone call.

 
For those of you whom my husband and I have only met recently, you may not know that we once had a baby boy named Tyler.  We lost him when he was only two months old due to a congenital problem that affected his heart and brain development.

To say that the months following Tyler's death was difficult would be an understatement.  He was our first child, the first nephew of my sisters, and the first grandchild of my parents.  While losing Tyler meant grieving the loss of our son, to me it also meant losing my chance to finally call myself a mother. 
 

Immediately after losing Tyler, we went to see the doctor to check if I was healthy enough for another pregnancy. After some tests, we were told that it may be difficult for me to conceive naturally due to my polycystic ovaries.  But I knew that my God is greater than any medical limitation.  So we trusted in Him and waited for his perfect time.

Throughout the months after God took Tyler home, I found solace in God’s word. I read it like I’ve never read the Bible before. I was reminded of verses that I have read over and over as a child. They suddenly became anchors for me to be still at a time when my heart felt very confused.  Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future” – this verse was not new to me but it was a promise that I held on and claimed repeatedly as I prayed to the Lord.

I decided to surround myself with God's word.

Literally! 

I would write down countless verses that spoke to me on yellow post-it notes and stick them on the wall above our bed. Verses such as Philippians 4:6-7 which reminds me not to be anxious about anything.  But by prayer with thanksgiving, I just had to present my requests that God. And He promised to give me peace that transcends all  understanding.  I would read each of them before I slept and then again as soon as I woke up.  They were a constant reminder that regardless of the season we were in, our Savior is a good good father.

God’s word powered me through life and his promises unfolded one by one.  On that beautiful morning in March of 2008, I once again held a tiny baby boy in my arms. This time, a very healthy and normal baby. We named him Troy.  The Lord fulfilled Jeremiah 29:11 that day.  I saw hope and the beautiful future he had planned out for us in the eyes of our child.

And contrary to expectations, I was not afraid all throughout the pregnancy. It was supernatural how I was not anxious. It was supernatural how I was not worried that our baby would have the same condition as Tyler. I was overjoyed with His blessing. And I was at peace. It was the kind of peace described through Philippians 4:7. It indeed transcended all understanding. Again, another promise unfolded.

God's word is always true. He may not have healed Tyler physically, but He healed our hearts.  I have shared this before and I want to share it again. My mom would constantly remind me of God's promise through Psalm 30:5 after Tyler's passing. "Weeping may last for a night, but His joy comes in the morning".  And indeed, another joy came to us one early morning in 2011. We named her Dawn.

It has been almost 10 years since I was told that motherhood seemed loss for me. But God’s promises prevailed. Every morning I wake up and I see two little miracles sleeping beside me.  They will always be a reminder of how much God loves me. They are a testament of God’s power and love. His word is always true. His promises will always be fulfilled.

Whatever season you are in right now, I encourage you to go to His word.  Find the peace that only He can give.  Claim His promises. And watch your beautiful future unfold.

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Random Thoughts on My Son's Eight Birthday

Troy turned eight yesterday. As I was having breakfast, I thought about the day he was born. I was reminded of his beautiful loud cry in that operating room and the congratulations from visitors that were not present during my first delivery.  It brought me back to the many nights I stayed awake wondering whether I will ever get pregnant again, or those days when I would allow myself to think about the empty crib in the beautifully decorated baby's room and wonder whether we would ever use them. Then I saw a photo of my now eight-year old boy. Then I cried.

 

From the time you decide you want to have a baby to the time the healthy baby finally arrives, Motherhood is never easy. Somewhere in between, there's always a story to tell. Whether it's about the fear of infertility, going through miscarriages, or perhaps experiencing infant loss, a lot of us have walked that path. The threat of unfulfilled dreams is, a lot of times, the hardest to accept.

 

The past 10 years has been quite a journey. There were those difficult days in 2006 when I just wanted to sleep all day until I wake up from a seemingly bad dream. Then there are happy days in 2016 when all I want to do is to enjoy all 24 precious hours with my children.  This is where 10 years has brought our family. I look at my children now and I am reminded of how much God has been with us through the years. He did not allow me to stay in that black hole I have placed myself in ten years ago. And the miracle in all of this is that all I needed to do was to simply trust in Him.

 

Whatever stage you are in right now, do know this. Pray and trust in Him even when facts tell us otherwise. Trust in His good plans for your life.  Because I tell you, once you decide to surrender your worries to God, you will experience the joy of living that abundant life that He has always intended for you.   

 

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

 

 

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Are Your Kids Protected?

Last December, some members of our family had severe bouts of diarrhea and it was just awful.  Most of us had to take oral hydride tablets to avoid getting dehydrated. My mom almost wanted to admit me to the hospital for dextrose - but thank God my friend sent some Oral Dextrose which i diligently drank every hour.  During those days, one of my fears was really getting my kids infected. I know that diarrhea could be dangerous for smaller children as they're more prone to dehydration.

Ria Tanhuatco-Trillo interviewing Barbie Almalbis-Honasan

A few days ago, I was invited to attend a talk at the Makati Shangri-la Hotel by GlaxoSmithKline (GSK).  GSK launched a No Hope Lost campaign to educate parents to vaccinate their children.  The discussion focused on the top two leading causes of mortality and  morbidity among children less than 5 years of age.  Upon hearing 'pneumonia' and 'diarrhea', the mommy in me listened intently. I've heard of friends and families with kids getting confined due to pneumonia and diarrhea. I knew there were risks but i honestly did not realize the gravity of it. 

Facts about Pneumonia:

• Pneumonia is the single greatest cause of death in children worldwide. In fact, pneumonia is the leading cause of illness and death among Filipino children less than 5 years old. National statistics show an estimated 37 Filipino children die of pneumonia every day.1

• Pneumonia is an inflammatory condition of the lung which affects primarily the microscopic air sacs known as alveoli. 

• Symptoms: cough, fever, chills, headaches, loss of appetite, wheezing, chest pain, fever, and rapid or difficulty breathing.

Facts about Diarrhea:

• Diarrhea is defined as having loose or watery stools at least three times per day, or more frequently than a normal individual.

• Complications: Acute cases can lead to significant fluid loss and dehydration, which may result in death or other severe consequences.

• Cause: Rotavirus Gastroenteritis (RVGE) is the common cause of diarrhea and severe dehydration in young children.

• Rotavirus infects virtually every child within the first 5 years of life, irrespective of race or socio-economic status. That is why it is called a “democratic virus.”

On top of the above facts, i also found out that the Rotavirus can stay on solid surfaces for several days. So it's very easy to get infected. This idea frightens me because daughter still thumb sucks once in a while.  I can only imagine the things that she has touched before the thumb goes to the mouth.

Here are some tips that protect your children:

• Exclusive breastfeeding for at least 6 months (yay! check for both my kids)
• Adequate nutrition
• Vitamin A supplementation. Make sure it's included in your child's multi-vitamins
• Frequent hand washing
• Vaccinate

SoMoms on the Commitment Board

I was surprised to learn that a lot of parents are still not aware that there are vaccines available to prevent Pneumonia (Pneumococcal Conjugate Vaccine or PCV) and Rotavirus (Rotavirus Vaccine or RV).  We had both our children vaccinated early on and you should too.  Both vaccines can be administered to infants as early as 6 weeks of age. It is important to follow the correct vaccination schedule as the Rotavirus is more severe and frequent in infants aged 3 to 24 months.

Parents, please ask your pediatricians about these vaccines and protect your child from these lethal diseases.  As the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is always better than a pound of cure.

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The Day I Became a Person and a Half

It was around six in the morning when the nurses came and wheeled me to the operating room. After waiting for over 38 weeks, I was very excited to meet my little girl...and, quite frankly, also looking forward to relieving myself from the weight that has been causing me sleepless nights and lower back pains. After a little over an hour, our beautiful baby girl was born. 72 hours later, i felt pregnant again.

Being our second baby (technically 3rd but that's another story), we felt like seasoned parents. We knew how to fix our breastfeeding schedule and prepare ourselves for the midnight shifts. But my daughter was different from her brother somehow. She was so attached to me (and no one else) like a stick to a glue.  When she cries in the middle of the night, she only wanted me to carry her. When i let her co-sleep with us on the bed, she'd prefer to sleep on my tummy instead. When we're out, she'd cuddle inside the sling 99% of the time. It was, in a way, easier for me since she was quick to pacify. The only problem was, the only effective pacifier was me.

Almost three years later, nothing has changed. Last December we had a 2-week vacation abroad and my daughter only wanted me to give her a bath, feed her, brush her teeth, carry her [sling or no sling], and even push her stroller.  That's right, push her stroller!  She'll check the back every now and then to make sure no one else has 'taken over' the stroller. I must admit feeling so loved and needed by your child is awesome in a lot of ways. But during those times when i just wanted to rest, it can get pretty stressful and literally back-breaking. Like i said, with the sleepless nights and backaches, it didn't feel too different from being pregnant.

I remember trying to shop in H&M with Dawn. I didn't want to let her walk around (and have to run after her) so i carried her most of the time.  There was an ongoing sale so the crowd was tight and the lines were long.  It was challenging to say the least.  So one afternoon, Dens decided i needed a break.  He took Dawn from me - amidst the tears and all (Dawn, not me) - so that i can go shopping for an hour with my sister. We excitedly ran to the nearest H&M to continue our shopping - leisurely this time. When i got there, the excitement started to fade away. I saw the clothes that i tried on when Dawn was with me and remembered how excited she looked when she said 'Mom, you look like a princess!' Then i saw the little hair accessories that Dawn diligently collected the first time we were there. She said some of those were for her and some were for me. Suddenly, my afternoon of leisure shopping wasn't as fun as i thought.  It truly felt like giving birth. Once the baby is out, you somehow feel like a part of you is now missing.

This made me realize to enjoy the present. Being a mom will surely limit my shopping habits once in a while. I may not be able to shop to my heart's content in factory outlets anymore. I may need to say goodbye to a  restful 8-hour sleep until they're all grown up. I may not always get to enjoy my meals as I make sure the little toddler is eating enough. But that's all right. The perks of being a mom far outweighs the challenges. The smiles you get each time you open your eyes in the morning. The embraces at night before you sleep. And the 'i love you's' that they so sincerely say.

I wonder how long my daughter will be this attached to me. But i will stop analyzing how to 'detach' her anymore. I will embrace this moment for as long as i can. Because not too long from now, she will have her own life...her own schedule...and she may not need me as much as she does now. And i will look back to this day with fondness and a deep sense of longing. Hoping that time did not have to move so fast.

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Fertility Awareness Week 2013

When your dreams of conceiving is repeatedly put on hold, every negative pregnancy test feels like a another battle loss.  With every unsuccessful month, time seems to be pulling you away from the hope of starting a family.  I have been in a similar situation over six years ago and have witnessed a lot of friends and family go through the same ordeal.

Fertility Philippines is currently hosting the Fertility Awareness Week from August 25 to 31, 2013. The weeklong event  features a series of online video that tackles the barriers to understanding the condition as well as treatment options available in the Philippines. Watch the videos posted per day by visiting  http://fertilityawarenessweekasia.com/ph/agenda/ and share this with you friend. This may be the answer that they have long been praying for.

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Why I Love Being Pregnant

First off, I am not pregnant. I was just talking to my friend about her pregnancy and thought about my own.  Pregnancy is not just morning sickness and labor pains.  There are fun things that come along with it too!  Here are the top three reasons why i love being pregnant (aside from the coming of a new baby, of course).

1. You can eat to your hearts' content! Of course it's not the same when you have high blood or sugar problems. But generally, you can eat and not worry about gaining weight. I especially love the second trimester when the morning sickness goes away and you still don't feel the sluggishness of the last trimester. This is the best time to hit all the hotel buffets in Manila!

2. Afternoon naps are productive.  One thing my husband doesn't understand about me is that i hate sleeping in the afternoon. I feel that it's such a waste of time. Ever since I was a child, i'd always wake up feeling sad each time I take an afternoon nap. It's just so unproductive. For me, you should be productive during the day and rest only at night. But the good thing about being pregnant is that you get to sleep anytime and still be productive! You are allowing the baby to grow each time you sleep. It's an excuse to rest more, really. I love that i don't feel guilty everytime I wake up in the afternoon.

3.  You get special treatment. Dens' love language is service but when I am pregnant, he goes the extra mile!  From getting me water in the middle of the night to back massages that help me fall asleep...people are just generally more kind and caring to you even if you don't ask them to be.

I don't intend to get pregnant again but I love remisicing the fun stuff during those 9 months.  I've been pregnant three times and every experience has been different. Some pregnancies are harder than others.  But through it all, I learned that the ultimate joy of seeing your healthy baby for the first time beats any hotel buffet or back massage. That's truly irreplaceable.

How about you? What are the things you love about being pregnant? :)

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Mums of New Beginnings

It's very hard being a first time mom.

They always say that the first child is often a product of [discipline] trial and error. Learning how to be a good parent is never easy.  I have bought countless parenting books and have interviewed veteran moms on several occassions.  There is always something new to learn.  This is why I was more than happy to say YES when i was invited to be part of a new community for progressive moms last June.      

New Beginnings is a community where moms grow together. Watch the video below and learn more about New Beginnings.

Meet the Mums of New Beginnings

Like us on Facebook [http://www.facebook.com/newbeginnings.com.ph] and chat with other moms about the joys and pains of motherhood.

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I Heart Mustela

Do you ever wonder why we have more and more cases of infertility, cancer, and all sorts of new diseases these days? 

I do.

After we lost Tyler in 2006, i started hearing about Natural and Organic products. I knew it was almost impossible to go 100% natural but i was determined to keep our family's exposure to toxic chemicals to the barest minimum.  We never truly found out what caused Tyler's problem but hearing the older generation repeatedly say 'Wala naman mga ganung problema dati' [We didn't have that kind of problem before] makes me believe that it has something to do with all the chemicals that we are now frequently exposed to.  So i went on a quest to find the best natural products in the market - from soaps and shampoos to make-up.

When i gave birth to Dawn in 2011, my good friend Tammy Chua-Tancinco of Mustela Philippines gave me a bottle of Mustela baby wash. I wasn't familiar with the product at that time so i went online and did some research. As i learned more about the product, i also got more and more interested. I learned that Mustela is manufactured by Laboratoires Expanscience, which is the 6^th largest independent laboratory in France, and ensures its high quality products that are free from paraben, phthalate, phenoxyethanol, alcohol, chlorphenesin and essential oils. Priority is given to ingredients of natural origins ranging form 80% to 98%. Mustela continues to create a legacy of unparalled skin care.

So when Tammy called me up one weekend and invited me to lunch and hear about Mustela Philippines, i said yes in a heartbeat. The talk was held at the Premio Restaurant of the Best Western Premier F1 Hotel at the Bonifacio Global City.

Tammy and Martin Tancinco of Mustela Philippines

Liz Almoro 

The very pregnant but still chic Amanda Griffin-Jacob 

Lexi Schultz hosted the event

Sharleen CuUnjieng, who is co-owner of Mustela Philippines, talked about how the product has helped clear her baby's rashes after trying several creams and ointments in the market to no avail.  I have my own Mustela story with Dawn and you can read about that here.

Lexi interviewing Sharleen of Mustela Philippines

All of us were listening intently

They also invited a pediatrician, Dra Vienne Valentin Saulog, to discuss the benefits of Mustela

Rowena (http://animetric.blogspot.com), myself, Liz Almoro, Tammy Chua-Tancinco

With the Mustela Philippines ladies, Sharleen and Tammy

After Dawn was healed of eczema, i started using different Mustela products and have accumulated my own stash at home.  I will discuss how i use each of the product in a separate post.

Mustela has been an essential part of our family for over a year now. If you're new to the brand, this is the perfect time to check it out. They have just slashed their prices last June. Make the shift. Your family is worth it!

Mustela is available at the following outlets:

    Ayala Trinoma, 1^st Level (beside Cafe Mary Grace)

    Robinson's Manila, 1^st Level Midtown Wing (beside Topshop)

    Glorietta 4, 3^rd Level (in front of Gourdo's and Play & Display)

    Shangri-la Mall, 4^th Level (in front of Mothercare)

    Megamall A, 2^nd Level (in front of Esprit) 

    The Shops, Greenhills Shopping Center 1^st Level (in front of

    Watson’s and Mary Grace)

    Alabang Town Center, Upper Ground Floor, Connector Mall (in          

    front of K & Company) 

Distributed at the following:

    PureBeauty, 2^nd Floor Serendra, BGC

    All Landmark Department Stores

    All Rustan's Department Stores

    Numa Echo Baby Store, QC

For more information:

    MUSTELA HOTLINE:

    0917-8959988

    Email: mustelaphilippines@yahoo.com

    Website: www.mustela.com

    Facebook: Mustela Philippines

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35 weeks and ready to pop!

3 more weeks to go till i deliver baby Troy! I can't wait!!! It's always the last few weeks before the due date that gets me so restless. i have feelings of restlessness mixed with lots of excitement and a bit of anxiety.  I know i have to stop worrying and start trusting God full time...i am still learning but am getting there.

Unlike my first pregnancy, i feel so unprepared this time. I guess i have been so complacent that i already have all the baby things i need so i did not do a baby things' checklist and inventory anymore.

With my first pregnancy, i had a yaya at 5 months...the baby things were completed during my 7th month...and all the clothes were washed on my 8th month.  I am now entering my 9th month and have zero accomplishment! I have somehow prepared my timetable already though...yaya is arriving this Sunday...we will start washing all the baby's clothes next week...set up crib the weekend after and pack my hospital bag afterwards.

It has been an exciting 9 months but i'm sure what lies ahead will be more rewarding.  My next post would probably be after i give birth.  Please help us pray for a very healthy and normal baby boy.

"Have faith that whatever you ask for in prayer is already granted you, and you will find that it will be." - March 11:24


[Blogged on February 15, 2008]

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Our Wonderful Answered Prayer!

A few months after God took Tyler home, we went to see a doctor to check if i was ready to try and conceive again. After some tests, the doctor told me that it may be difficult for me to conceive again naturally and would need medications and injections to be able to have another baby.  But i knew God is greater than any medical limitation.  Our church prayed with us every week that God would bless us with another baby in His perfect time.  And today, after only 2 months of trying to conceive, I am happy to share with you another answered prayer.  I am now 6 months pregnant with our 2nd baby...and for some icing on the cake - we are having another baby boy :)

I am claiming God's promise through Achi Rubi that this baby will be full of joy.  And we are truly excited to  meet God's wonderful blessing for us next year.


[Blogged on November 28, 2007]

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